Pokemon 101: Survival with Professor Darkrai
by Sceptic62
Summary: Harry doesn't understand what happened over this most recent summer. All he knows is that the new professor is the scariest thing to ever exist. Well, that and the fact that Harry was now blue, small, and had a dream of flying that put every other passion to shame. Now if only he could figure out how to use these damn stubs as hands.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I've been having some freaky ideas man.**

It was a rather eventful summer for one Harry Potter of Number 4 Privet Drive. Well, beyond his usual "eventful" at least. The summer before entering his third year, young Harry Potter was part of an event that was only known as "The Change". Or, more colloquially, the "What the fuck happened, everyone's a Pokemon now" event. Yes, it seemed that nothing could be normal in the life of young Harry, but perhaps it was for the best. Or maybe not. Though, Harry would argue that seeing his Aunt and Uncle wake up to find giant "magical" bees instead of each other, would be his most treasured memory. Right next to finding out that Dudley was stuck as some sort of cocoon creature that couldn't even stand upright on its own.

When he left for the Burrow that night it was mainly due to Mrs. Weasley forcing Mr. Weasley to come pick him up, because no doubt those "Muggle family members would be panicking their hearts out and the least we could do is-". At least, that was as far as Mr. Weasley had described when he apparated to Harry's front door. Apparently in times of emergency, the trace was lifted for all minor wizards. Who knew? Anyways, opening the door to see a large beaver with a goofy face wasn't _exactly_ what Harry was expecting when he heard Mr. Weasley's voice, but given what had happened to Harry himself, he couldn't exactly say it _wasn't_ expected.

As such, Harry was delivered to the Burrow safe and unharmed. And was met with a plethora of familiar voices and unfamiliar faces. Thank god for Hermione's prudence, because it was only when she arrived with her own parents while carrying what she described as a "gaming guidebook" were they finally able to identify what creatures they were. Thankfully, her family was nowhere near as eclectic as the Weasleys. Hermione herself was a small brown canine known as an Eevee while her parents were an Arcanine and a Manectric.

Now, how was this not eclectic you ask? Well, at least they were all canine based. Mr. Weasley was a beaver described as Bibarel, while his sons and daughter ran the whole gamut of land mammals and then some. Ron was a mongoose derived creature with razor sharp, half a foot long claws, and Ginny was a rabbit (which, for the record, Harry found hilariously appropriate with how skittish she was and how much Ron hated Slytherin).

"See Harry, I told you this guide was correct! This 'Zangoose' creature looks exactly like Ron right now!" Harry nodded his head absently. Hermione seemed to forget sometimes, that although he was ignorant of the magical world, he _did_ have some semblance of a Muggle upbringing and a load of Dudley's leftover toys and games that were fixable with a quick reparo and some replacement parts. He knew what they were _collectively_ , just not the specifics.

"Hermione, I _know_ what Pokemon are. I'm pretty sure every muggle child, besides you, knows what a Pokemon is." Which of course, was the perfectly wrong thing to say. As a result, she humphed derisively before looking for the twins to share what was likely going to become required reading for the whole planet eventually. Ron merely looked back at him and shrugged. Apparently his squib cousin had sent some mail recently with a brief primer on Pokemon, which was why the Weasley family (and the neighboring Lovegoods) were much less panicked.

"Dinner's ready everyone!" A voice roared from the kitchen. Of all the transformations that were handed out, Harry had to admit that the God that decided Mrs. Weasley's form was particularly clever. A large hulking bear that could probably snap two of him in half exited the kitchen carrying the last of the cooked food in a large tray.

"Oh good-" a green monkey with a large pompadour began.

"We were-" a red monkey with flame styled hair continued.

" _Starving,"_ both of them finished simultaneously. Mrs. Weasley sighed clearly fed up with their shenanigans.

"Even though one of you is green and the other is red, I still can't tell which is which," Harry admitted somewhat sheepishly. Both monkeys winked at him before taking their seats at the dining table.

"The red one's Fred and the green one's George," Ron pointed out, shocking the four who were already down for dinner. It took a moment for anyone to react to Ron's sudden and confident declaration. Both twins faced each other before breaking out into smiles.

"Nice try-"

"Ronniekins, but-"

"We're not that-"

"Easy." Ron shrugged. Harry caught on rather quickly, it was a rather smart ploy if he was being honest. As Mr. Weasley gathered up the Grangers and Hermione for dinner, Harry heard the sound of beating wings outside. Mrs. Weasley stood up to answer the door as the Grangers and Ginny settled down.

"Percy, come down for dinner! Charlie and Bill just arrived!" She shouted as she opened the door for her two older sons to enter.

"Oh dear," the bear mother said as she got a good look at her two boys in the foyer. Harry could see their shadows from the dining room and they were _large_. Mr. Weasley stood up to assist his wife and paused as soon as he rounded the corner out of the kitchen.

"Oh, my." He heard the man say calmly as he lead both of them back into the room. Their reactions were understated if anything. Charlie (or Harry assumed it was Charlie, since he was a _dragon_ ) had became a large fire based drake. But, he apparently had gotten off easy. His brother Bill, had turned into a sarcophagus with multiple, unsettling, pitch black arms and bloody red eyes.

"Bloody hell, Bill, what the hell happened to you?" Ron nearly shouted as he tore his attention away from his food to get a good look at his brother. The rest of the family was equally as surprised. All except one studious young fox.

"Apparently-" he began, before being interrupted.

"He's a ghost type! Its name is Cofagrigus, and its coffin is made-" Hermione cut in before the fact that Bill was a _ghost_ registered across the family.

"Wait, are you saying Bill _died?_ " Ginny asked from her seat, almost breaking down into tears. The shouting only increased from there as the family tried to get closer to Bill, while Mrs. Weasley was being comforted by her husband. Of course, all the panicking was starting to irritate Harry's new (and fairly sensitive ears) so he attempted to rest his head on the table before him. It left a rather impressive dent while serving as a gavel. It immediately silenced the room.

"Harry, you have to be careful! A Bagon's crest can supposedly punch through solid rock!" Hermione exclaimed from her position next to Mrs. Weasley, as she was trying to explain the difference between ghost and ghost type. Harry simply drove his head through the table, the absurdity of the situation finally kicking in.

* * *

"Oi, Percy, how in the bloody hell are you holding up that book?" Ron asked his older brother as they walked towards the barrier of platform 9 ¾. And it was indeed a strange sight. Percy had turned into a large whiskered shepherd dog, a Stoutland according to Hermione and as such lost his opposable thumbs and dextrous appendages. How was he holding up that book? Ignoring the reprimand of "Language" from his mother, Percy explained.

"If you read the orientation materials Hermione prepared for us, you would know that Stoutland have the ability to channel psychic energy through their fangs. It's simply light telekinesis." The Head Boy muttered while flipping to the next page. Harry tilted his head to get a better look under the boy's furry-stache. Sure enough, his fangs were glowing with light pink energy.

"Wow, that's very creative. I haven't even been able to hold an electric charge yet." Hermione languished from next to the taller canine. Once Hermione had figured out that Pokemon were similar to magical creatures, she put all her effort to learn the "moves" (or in other words, Hermione was given a brand new set of spells that she _knew_ she could do and was set loose). Percy simply did the dog equivalent of a shoulder shrug. Which made Harry wonder-

"Damn, you've got a hard head there, kid." Dazed, Harry sat on his rump as he looked up at who had accidentally knocked him over. Large Fangs. Very very large fangs. Harry immediately tried to scramble away on what Bagon likely claimed were limbs, but were, in reality, tiny flappers. That is to say, he didn't get very far.

"Woah, hey, don't panic. It's just my ability. The muggle auror over there told me that some of these pokemans have threatening abilities." The other canine explained. It had a pitch black over-pelt and a light grey under-pelt. Once his initial fear settled, Harry the Bagon (and wasn't that much better than The-Boy-Who-Lived?) managed to roll forwards and stand up.

"Oh sorry," Harry replied sheepishly. He hadn't ever been scared enough to lose control, so he had no idea why he reacted so poorly. Hell, fighting Voldeghost in his First Year had been nowhere _near_ as threatening.

"Ah! It's Intimidate! It makes other Pokemon threatened by your presence!" Hermione chirped in. Harry couldn't believe she was so excited by all these changes. But, he supposed that having your own living Pokedex was pretty valuable. The wolf Pokemon simply barked in agreement.

"Yeah, as you can see, the rest of these folks are giving me a wide berth. Anyways, I'm off, good luck at Hogwarts kiddos." The wolf departed with little ceremony afterward. Though, Harry could pick up some muttering about a rat. He pouted. He was not a rat he huffed, he was a baby dragon thank you very much!

After a litany of hugs and kisses from Mrs. Weasley, and a pat on the head from Charlie (Bill hadn't been confident enough to go out in public yet, his appearance had actually made one of the nearby muggle neighborhoods _scream_ ) Harry was off to find his seat on the Hogwarts express. Of course, given the new size and shapes of all the incoming students, space was a limited resource. The only open compartment he could find after the other half of the Weasley pack left was occupied by the second wolf-like Pokemon he met that day.

"Lycanroc, they're a canine and have multiple forms depending on the daylight. They're a little like werewolves in that regard." Hermione answered before he could even ask. He nodded and took a seat next to the canine reading a newspaper. The other Pokemon looked up at the students entering and twitched his ear before returning to his paper.

"I suppose everywhere else is full then? Well, no matter. My name is Remus Lupin and I will be teaching you Defense Against the Dark Arts this coming semester." A gruff voice rung from behind the paper.

"Well, assuming that classes aren't restructured because of all this… Pokemon business." He continued. Hermione's brown eyes widened to comical proportions. It was almost a dream come true for her. If it were McGonagall, Harry was pretty sure the girl would be hyperventilating. He quickly tuned out his compartment mates in order to catch up on some sleep. His dreams had been forcing him awake lately. Not that they were malicious, but the constant feeling of falling and flying often shocked him out of sleep.

* * *

They were halfway through the Welcoming Feast before the Great Hall was silenced. None of the teachers had made any announcements or called for their attention. Rather, the conversations slowly died off one by one as a sense of dread slowly filled the room. As soon as the hall was utterly silent, not even the clattering of utensils, everyone in the hall felt their eyes drawn towards the entrance doors. The tension hung in the air for a few more moments before a shape of indescribable darkness phased through the doors. When it finally formed completely, a ghostly figure presided over the hall with its sky blue eye.

"Excuse me, sir or madam, but how may we help you here at Hogwarts?" The headmaster asked from his position at the head of the professor's table. Alakazam was the name of his form, and according to the Hermionedex, was one of the most powerful and wise Pokemon to come in existence. Which, as far as Harry was concerned, proved that whatever had happened had to have been for a reason. Every single transformation was scarily accurate. Half the Slytherin house were reptiles for Merlin's sake!

"I have been sent by Arceus to educate you on the ways of Pokemon. My name is Darkrai, the Pitch Black Pokemon." The Pokemon's voice stated calmly, stretching over the entire room. The only thing that interrupted the silence that permeated the room after his response was the flipping of pages. Arceus? What sort of name was that?

"Wait, do you mean Arceus as in _Arceus?_ The one who created all Pokemon?!" Hermione exclaimed once she had found the entry in the guidebook. As Harry digested this information, he could see a gleam appear in the dark Pokemon's eye. It nodded.

"The very same. It brings some joy to me that at least _one_ of you is properly educated," He praised. Though, it held much the same tone as Snape when he called everyone dunderheads, so Harry wasn't exactly sure how to take it. Hermione, however, nervously buried her head back into the book unable to handle all the curious looks sent her way from both teachers and students. Dumbledore cleared his throat, bringing the hall's attention to him once more.

"Then I assume you are here to lift this… change that has been forced upon our world?" He questioned. Harry held his breath. As did the rest of the Great Hall. Then, the creature named Darkrai started shaking slightly before erupting in full-blown laughter. He continued on as such for a good minute before abruptly stopping. He wiped an imaginary tear from his eye, although Harry was fairly sure that was meant derisively towards Dumbledore more than anything else.

"Ah, you appear to have misconstrued my purpose here. I am to teach you _how to live as a Pokemon_. As much as I hate being part of the same classification as you, I cannot change you back. Not even Arceus, the Grand Creator of all life, himself can change you back. What you seem to _misunderstand_ is that humans are the anomaly. Many dimensions parallel or even, Arceus forbid, _perpendicular_ to this one have Pokemon inhabitants. Few have humans." Darkrai's words were a death sentence. And of course, outrage immediately followed, as not many sapient creatures willingly accept death.

* * *

"Blimey." Ron's single word response broke the melancholy that held over the Gryffindor common room. Darkrai had immediately silenced the outrage with a sheer force of presence and outlined the terms of his stay here at Hogwarts. In the mornings and afternoons on Saturday, he would teach collective classes of all the years in the Great Hall. It was a singular lecture day that would cover basic and advanced Pokemon topics and possibly introduce the basics of Pokemon dueling, or "battling". He was still ironing out the syllabus. And on Saturday and Sunday evenings, he would be holding remedial classes for students and adults down in Hogsmeade.

"Bloody hell." Percy cursed. It was rare to hear Percy curse, Harry thought as he drifted through a dream like state considering his new life. Was he always going to have stubby limbs and a hard head? Would he ever get to fly so free? Harry shook his head. Where did those thoughts even come from, he mused. Ever since he changed he developed a depressing ambition for flying. It was something about the freedom he supposed. Or perhaps the ability to be above the worries of life that attracted him. He didn't know.

The entire common room was startled awake by Hermione storming in and slamming at least seven binders and books on the table. Hermione huffed as she shared two of the books with Percy and another Seventh Year who didn't want to sleep the news off. She shoved two into the twin's hands, and one into Harry's. Ron didn't get one, though it was probably for the best considering he couldn't figure out how to retract his claws yet. Hermione then shared more with their other year mates.

"These are Pokemon guides. I can't search them fast enough, because I have no opposable thumbs anymore. We _need_ to find out if 'Professor' Darkrai is lying or perhaps he's hiding something. I refuse to believe that Arceus, who is quite literally an approximation of the Christian God, can't undo this transformation." Hermione said defeated. It was likely that Hermione had already found the truth, but was attempting to bring some hope to the common room. Any hope was worth it at this point. He started flipping through a guide for Pokemon "Emerald" and was directed to the back for the Pokedex. Maybe he could find himself. The common room started quiet, but as students found their new forms, they started to pick up a bit and chat.

"Hey, look it's us, George," One of the monkey brother's claimed after an hour of searching. Harry turned away from his own guide and walked over to the open page in the twin's hands.

"Simisage and Simisear. Grass-type and Fire type. Says here that Simisear fuels its fires with sweet food. And when it gets excited, embers fly from its body. Wicked." Fred said before smirking mischievously. Harry turned his head away from the ensuing chaos. Hear no evil, see no evil. Though, something on the twin's dex page caught his attention.

"Hey, Hermione, what do these number ratings mean? There's a couple here for Attack and Defense and Speed." He asked as he passed by a page for a yellow pokemon called Pichu. The numbers were vast and few Pokemon shared similar stats across the board. Hermione immediately puffed up, eager to share her knowledge from devouring all the Pokemon content she could get mailed by her cousins.

"Alright, so you know how I said this was a 'gaming guide'? Muggles have a way of playing games using technology that is a little like Wizarding Portraits. Pokemon is one of those moving games. The stats denote, according to my cousin, 'the maximum potential in that category' of a Pokemon. In essence, they're the minimum you can have in that category." She said succinctly. That rose Harry's eyebrows. So they could suss out their own future strength with these guides?

"Bloody hell. I found him." Seamus whispered from his corner. Harry's year mate had turned into a blue otter pokemon. They hadn't managed to find his name yet, though Hermione surmised it was likely because his Dex entry was in the latter half of guides she brought. Everyone dropped their own guides and huddled around the entry Seamus presented.

"His collective statistic value is _six hundred_ ," Ron whispered. Even Harry winced at that. The average distribution generally spoke to the Pokemon's strengths (even Harry could understand that about the stats) but to have nearly a hundred _total_ rating to differentiate him from the average Pokemon was a bit much. Even Dumbledore had sat at a near five hundred. Hermione tried to ease their worries a little, but if anything it made it worse.

"Again, this is a 'game guide'. As far as we know, it could be overstating his strength. Though… it could also be understating it in order to ensure those in his weight class in the game don't blow the others away." Hermione grimaced as she considered the ramification of this information. They couldn't be accurate with this guide, but they could make some estimates. In direct combat, it was likely he could take any of them unscathed if it were about sheer power. However, Percy did bring some news that sort of restored the cheer in the room. He tossed his own guide onto the table, covering up Darkrai's entry.

"He's not the only one with a six hundred. Salamence. Evolves from Shelgon. Which evolves from Bagon." All eyes turned towards Harry at Percy's announcement. He took a deeper look at the creature that was displayed in the entry. All he could think was that its wings were beautiful.

"Not just that, but if exposed to a special mineral, Salamence can get even stronger. A flat seven hundred. If it turns out Darkrai's hiding anything, I bet that powerhouse could get a proper answer from him." Harry turned the page to look at the "Mega" Salamence. He traced his stub along the large wings. His voice came out shaky.

"H-How do I evolve…" He asked in awe of the dragon he could become.

"I'm not sure," Hermione answered, concerned at how reverent Harry had suddenly become of the image.

"Through trials and tribulations of course." A dark voice rasped from the entrance of the common room. Everyone was shaken away from the guide held in Harry's hand to focus on the new presence.

"P-Professor Darkrai, we were just-" Trust Hermione to follow propriety when threatened. The Pokemon held up a shadowed limb cutting off any excuse. It drifted over to Harry and glanced from the page to the small Bagon caressing the image. Harry didn't even shake or tremble, too enthralled by the prospect of wings. The dark legendary scoffed.

"Tell you what, if you become a Salamence during my tenure here, I will _personally_ gift you a Salamencite from my home." He said rasping through his words. Harry simply nodded, barely paying attention to the words. Darkrai's single eye drifted towards everyone else in the room.

"I was just coming here to alert you that due to the teacher's own lack of experimentation with their forms, that my class will be encompassing the entirety of these first few weeks. It will be a primer for all years, beginning at nine in the Great Hall and ending at three the same day. Every day until October. There will be an hour break for lunch and rest at half past twelve." The dark pokemon then phased through the floor to leave all of Gryffindor with their thoughts, and Harry's dream of wings.

* * *

"Attention, I will be beginning the class in five minutes. At that time, all food and drink will be magicked away. I expect silence and propriety during these lectures, as they are extremely pertinent to _living_ as a Pokemon. We will be covering many different topics, which includes type advantages to abilities to even Pokemon reproduction," he paused for a moment to eye each of the students, challenging them to make light of his curriculum.

"Any questions from anyone besides the Eevee?" The pokemon uttered, completely ignoring the vibrating paw that the canine raised. She had stood herself on three textbooks to make herself stand out. Multiple appendages raised from across the Great Hall. Darkrai scanned each one before landing on a tail.

"You, the Seviper. Yes, you the black, and purple serpent." Darkrai pointed out, picking one of the Slytherins. The snake tried to clear its throat, before remembering that his esophagus functioned differently from a human.

"How exactly am I supposed to _do_ anything like this? I have no limbs!" The student shouted in outrage. Darkrai rubbed his temple, unable to believe he was stuck teaching such inept Pokemon.

"There is a minor force that each Pokemon that has access too. It allows one to grip and to carry objects that would be otherwise impossible. Arceus gifted it to those who lacked telekinetic abilities. It is similar enough to your magic that you should be able to exploit it with little training." At that answer, a vast number of hands went down. All except two. An Eevee's shaking paw, and a raised limb from the collected Alakazam. He nodded towards the aged 'Mon.

"That is the second time you have mentioned Arceus. From what we heard from Miss Granger's outburst, an assumption can be made that Arceus is comparable to a god, correct?" The Alakazam asked with a gentle tone. Finally, a competent question, Darkrai relished.

"I will speak more on Arceus in a later lecture. But for now, He is akin to the Christian God that I have gleaned from your other societies." Darkrai paced out. Almost every room in the hand shot up after that. He grumbled. He would never get to his damned lecture at this rate! He pointed at a Beldum that sat at the Ravenclaw table.

"Query: Is there definite proof he exists? Statement: You are a mythical Pokemon, though I suppose the colloquialism is legendary, as well…" The voice's tone remained the same as his human form, though unfortunately, Michael Corner was forced to adopt a new speech pattern thanks to his computer patterned brain. Darkrai simply scoffed.

"Suppose he does not exist. Then how would you explain my arrival and the fact that your entire world is now populated by Pokemon who _also supposedly do not exist?_ A lack of evidence to the claim contrary is as good as proof in this case." Darkrai had not even finished his scathing remark before a rabble broke out amongst all those present in the hall. For Arceus' sake would these damn humans just shut the hell up and take the lessons already?! He was _this_ close to calling in a favor and sending them all to the Reverse World!

" _ **Silence**_ **.** " His authority granted to him by Arceus over those who did not preside over the balances of life forced the hall to quiet down unwillingly. He let out a deep breath.

"As I said, Arceus will be discussed in a _later lecture_. Now, I shall be discussing type advantages and disadvantages. This will also be your first mock battle. If I could please ask a pair of professors from this esteemed institution to participate in a light duel, I would be ever so grateful." He said while pointing out the excited Wigglytuff (Footcandle or something, he couldn't understand human names at all) and the Cacturne, Snake.

* * *

"Blimey, did you see Flitwick blast Snape through the Professor's table? And he was a _fairy_ type. Imagine what something like Harry could do as a _dragon_ type." Ron giggled as he dug into his dinner. Both Harry and Hermione rolled their eyes this time. Type immunities and strengths had been quite literally the first thing the dark legendary explained as the teachers set up the dueling platform.

"Honestly, Ron, at this point I think I should just tape a type-chart to your chest. Professor Darkrai explained that fairy types were the best to counter dragons because they were immune to all dragon type moves and dragons have a weakness to them." Hermione explained exasperatedly.

"Well, he still wiped Snape's smug grin off his face. You can't tell me that wasn't satisfying right, Harry?" Ron asked after chewing through some roasted pork with gravy.

"I mean, Snape was at a disadvantage. It was still epic." Harry compromised. Of his best memories, since this whole event started, he was having a difficulty deciding between the Beeslys and Snape's face when Flitwick's **Dazzling Gleam** not only blinded the Potions professor but managed to blast him away from Flitwick before Snape could land a **Needle Arm**.

"I supposed it was a good demonstration of what a Pokemon battle might look like. Though I wonder what tomorrow's lesson is supposed to be?" Hermione considered flipping through some of her guides, attempting to find powerful moves she could learn on her own. Though, one thought kept crossing her mind, what was a TM exactly?

"Who cares, I can't wait to get up there to fight," Ron exclaimed excitedly.

* * *

"Would the Zangoose with the dull look on its face please come here?" Darkrai had met many Pokemon through his life but never before had he met one that was clearly in over its head. He was fairly sure the past three lessons on typing and the intricacies (such as fire types having short tempers) flew over the white-furred head.

"Wicked, do I get to fight today professor?" The mongoose Pokemon asked the legendary eagerly.

"Oi, Weasley you just realized the Professor called you a dumb weasel right?" A Seviper jeered from the green table. Darkrai groaned. This was going to be a long lesson.

"Both of you be _quiet_. In fact, Seviper- no not you, or you, the idiot who was mouthing off, yes you- come up here." It was best to get this lesson out of the way early. After all, typing wasn't exactly hard to explain, so the next understandable bit was abilities and instincts. He waited for the dumb snake to meander its way to the front of the Hall to the presentation platform. He instructed both to face the rest of the students.

"Today, we will be talking about abilities and Pokemon instincts. Eevee, settle down, any other questions you have on types may be directed via mail or office hours. Yes, I am hosting office hours, as apparently, some of you dullards can't absorb this simplistic material despite getting it literally rammed into your head yesterday." Darkrai said, attempting to blow off some steam. How could one not understand type disadvantage during a mock battle? He literally saw a Marshtomp (One of the fifth years apparently, from the yellow house) try to mud slap a _flying type_. If a Pokemon at fifteen years of age couldn't understand typing, well they wouldn't be living to fifteen years of age.

"Anyways, on to abilities and instinct. The reason I am covering instincts so early in this course is that some of you are from antagonistic species, or naturally inclined to dislike each other. For example, Seviper and Zangoose have an ingrown hatred of each other." He said and instructed the two Pokemon to face each other. He turned back to the class.

"As you can see, at this distance of nearly eight meters, the natural instincts of each Pokemon is starting to take effect. However, at this stage, it is easily ignorable." Darkrai lectures while pointing out the aspects of the confrontation to take note of. The Zangoose and Seviper would not break eye contact as long as they are within this range. In fact, Darkrai highlighted the fact that both were suffering from minor movement tics, the Zangoose was attempting to release his claws, and the Seviper was baring its fangs.

"Now, each one shall take a few steps forward. Seviper first then Zangoose." Both did as instructed. The Seviper began hissing as soon as the Zangoose began stepping towards him, and Zangoose finally released his claws. As soon as Seviper slithered forward, the two began circling each other. Most likely looking for holes in the enemy's defense, he mused.

"As you can see, the antagonism has reached a breaking point-" Darkrai began before a shout from the Seviper interrupted him.

"Blood-Traitor!" The Seviper shouted before unleashing a **Poison Fang**. Though, to the Zangoose's credit, it stared the oncoming jaws down like a pro. Tanked it very well too, and in Darkrai's opinion, great use of Immunity to launch a cutting blow. The Zangoose used close ranged **Fury Swipes** in order to ensure the maximum amount of hits. Unable to hold on through the onslaught, the Seviper was forced away. It was about to go in for another attack, but Darkrai grabbed it by the throat stalling it and walking away from the Zangoose's freshly declared territory. It watched them until it decided both were out of threat range.

"As _I was saying_ , when the antagonism has reached a breaking point, usually inflamed by overlapping territory, the Zangoose and Seviper will fight to the _death_ until someone breaks it up." Darkrai let go, now that it was clear both had settled down. All in all, this lesson was actually going fairly well.

"As I can't be everywhere at once, and from what I can see, there are three Sevipers and at least one Zangoose in this school, either find a professor or break it up yourself. I guarantee that someone will die if you do not." Darkrai paused, only just now realizing that the Hall was unusually silent. His cyan eye scanned over the room. The only description he had for the faces that stared back was either haunted or apprehensive. Well, he supposed, had to break the bubble eventually.

"This is what I mean by ingrained instincts. While some of them are not as severe, you must be aware and control them. For example, some of you electric types may want to sleep outside during a thunderstorm. A fire type and an ice type _generally_ should not be in the same room. There are exceptions of course." Darkrai continued lecturing. He was about to make a point on how fairy types had the most muted instincts second to psychic types, and that it was a personal responsibility as a member of each type to help curb the others. Then the Zangoose fell over.

"Ron!" Multiple voices shouted from the red-clothed table. Darkrai exerted some of his presence to force the hall to calm. He drifted over to the student and inspected his wound. Of all the damn abilities-

"He's fine, the poison's just got the better of him. Give me a moment." He said as he drifted over to the bag he kept for emergencies. He hated this place with a passion, but one could not say Darkrai was a negligent teacher. He pulled out a Pecha berry and walked back over to the Zangoose. He checked for fever and pulse. And to think, he praised the mongoose for properly using his Immunity, when in reality it was Poison Boost, feh. He squeezed the Pecha berry over the Pokemon's mouth and massaged his throat to ensure he swallowed. Then, using the remains of the berry, he pulped it over the wound. He turned back to the class.

"What I just did, was poison treatment for low-level toxicity with a Pecha Berry. We will cover items week three along with statuses. Anyways-" Darkrai tried his best to go through the lecture, but of course, he was interrupted.

"Wait, he was poisoned! Doesn't he need the medical wing Professor?!" Shouted a voice from the red table. It was soon joined by others.

"How did he even get poisoned? Aren't Zangooses immune?" Three guesses as to the egghead that stated that.

"Why did you let them get so close if you knew it wasn't going to be a safe-" Alright that was the last straw. Questioning his judgment was over any line he'd let them even near.

" **Enough.** " The hall silenced immediately. He huffed and let go of his authority.

"I am the one with eons of experience as a Pokemon and watching other Pokemon. I understand more about this Zangoose's durability than he does. One night's rest and a good meal beforehand will leave him perfectly fine tomorrow morning if he focuses purely on resting." He began before going back to his bag. Better off dealing with it now then the complaints later.

"But if it bothers you so much," He returned with a Sitrus berry and ripped the stem off before shoving it in the mongoose's mouth, "then he'll be up walking in a few moments." He watched as the catatonic Pokemon chewed and swallowed. The puncture wounds on his shoulder scabbed over immediately and appeared to be days healed over instantly. Then its eyes shot open.

"Malfoy, I'll-" Darkrai flicked him in the nose, knocking the younger Pokemon out of its frenzy. He turned back to the class.

"Now for the case of why Zangoose was not immune, it is rather simple. Whether fortunately, or unfortunately, this Zangoose is the beneficiary of good breeding. The ability it received from one of its parents was Poison Boost, _not_ Immunity. Which means that as long as he fights poisoned, he will be naturally stronger." At that news, hushed whispers broke out once more. Do these brats do anything but gossip? This time, however, he waited for the outrage before continuing his lecture.

"He's a dirty blood-traitor, what good breeding is there?" A Grovyle called from the green table rather cocky in its superiority. Darkrai sighed.

"We will go over breeding later this week. What you consider breeding and I consider breeding are different. Your breeding is nonsensical and prideful. Pokemon breeding is about selectively passing tangible traits on to offspring in order to strengthen them. For example, should anyone breed with this Zangoose," He paused for a moment, realizing that there was one small issue. He turned towards the recovering Pokemon and bent in close to keep the conversation private.

"What species are your parents and their abilities?" He asked hushed. The Zangoose blinked at him, clearly out of its depth. Darkrai rolled his single eye and motioned him to get on with it.

"Oh, uh, a Bibarel but he doesn't have the two main ones, we tested. My mom, I think it's called an… Ursaring?" The Zangoose finished questioningly. What in the name of Arceus is _wrong_ with this world, Darkrai griped. Ignoring the genetic impossibility of this Zangoose's breeding, Darkrai turned back to the class.

"If one of you females were to breed with this Zangoose, it is fairly likely that your child will have its hidden ability unlocked and will be given access to the move **Curse** if it can learn it." He finished. Darkrai was absolutely done with this world. And he still had the adult course later this weekend. Arceus damn his everlasting soul.

* * *

"Damn, careful with that Harry!" Ron cried out in the common room as Harry pulled the bandages over his shoulder tight. All his family stood around him as he sat on his bed while Harry was dressing his wounds. Normally they would have gone to Madame Pomfrey, but Darkrai had forbidden it. If they could find themselves time to question his judgment, then they could deal with the consequences of such. Ginny was the first to speak as Harry snipped the last of the bandages.

"I was _so_ scared when Malfoy went for your throat like that. I-I don't know what I'd do i-if-" She couldn't even finish her thought breaking into tears and pulling up her fluff to dry her eyes. Fred pulled her close and let her cry it out. Percy simply sat there on his haunches fuming.

"I am going to file a formal complaint to the Ministry! The recklessness he displayed-" Hermione was quick to join in.

"Exactly! He didn't even know if Ron's ability was Immunity before sending those two at each other. And didn't you hear him? He said to the _death_. Their instincts would have had them _kill_ each other to fulfill them!" Hermione and Percy were simply using their outrage to hide their tears. Even Ron's emotionally stunted brain could figure that out. But even so…

"I had to do it." He had to know what it felt like. Malfoy had always rubbed him the wrong way, but… never in his life had he wanted to kill the git. In that moment, however, he wanted nothing else. He wanted to taste the sweet Seviper flesh between his teeth as he ripped him apart with his claws. Ron shuddered and Harry felt it as he packed up the medical supplies. The small dragon patted his best friend on the back to steady him.

"No, you didn't! He basically threw you into a life or death match with no warning! How can you be so uncaring about this!" Hermione seldom raised her voice but she was on full blast today. Harry sighed in response.

"No, he had to do it." Hermione rounded on him almost instantaneously. He threw a wad of tape at the Eevee to shut her up for a moment.

"You guys don't have instincts as strong, or you haven't felt them yet. I have. It's like this... thing in your soul. I don't know." He trailed off. The gathered Pokemon gave their full attention to Harry as he began to say his piece.

"For me, it's like a Christmas Wish that never came true. I'm just, sort of sad without it. In the guides, they say that Bagon dive off cliffs to experience flight for even a moment. I _dream about it_. I can't even fly my broom without being sick of it because it's not the real thing." Harry said as he took deep breaths. He wanted to fly _so bad_. To just fly away and never look back. Ron nodded in agreement, a distant look in his eyes.

"Yeah, it's just this feeling that bubbles over. Harry's got longing. I've got hate. In the moment, it just eats at you and takes over completely, I don't know how anyone's supposed to control this." Ron said as he leaned deep into his four-poster bed.

There were no words after that.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Please don't use my review section for your angst. Thank you.**

The day had started normally. As normal as possible, considering the past two weeks worth of adapting to the Pokemon life. So as things are wont to do around our favored dark legendary, it ended with a miniature war around dinner time. The only saving grace was that it ended far faster than he expected, given his minimal intervention. The many Pokemon teachers (he was now confident in calling them colleagues) had advanced leaps and leagues ahead of the students.

Therefore, it made it rather easy to suss out why all the tables had been turned into makeshift shields and where the _literal_ twelve fires being put out around the Great Hall came from. Darkrai turned to the unfortunate Poliwrath that had been the instigator. He had been enjoying a most delicious substance called "soup" before it was knocked away from him, which only fueled his rage more.

"Aren't you supposed to be the mature type? You're part of the oldest year here, after all," Darkrai queried, his single eye baring its full intent. The Poliwrath under his gaze shivered and pointed its eyes towards the ground. The dark type was getting rather tired of its lack of fighting spirit, and was about to just fire a **Dark Pulse** in the hopes of getting a response.

"I do believe that is actually Mr. Longbottom from my house. A _third year_." Darkrai blinked at the Delcatty's explanation. Weren't third years the equivalent of adolescents for humans? He voiced as much and was given a more educated answer from the Blissey.

"Technically, they are teenagers. It is the period used to describe the years where a human generally goes through puberty and most of their development, typically from thirteen to nineteen years of age." So this Poliwrath was an adolescent. In the body of a creature that was not only fully grown, but could shoot pressurized water that pulverized rocks and break steel with its bare hands. Half a month, and he hadn't managed to lessen his headache for even one peaceful moment.

"Then you need extra training. I'm fairly sure you'd break most of the world if you walked around accidentally throwing around **Superpower** and **Bulk Up** like you did today." Darkrai sighed as he let go of his annoyance. Bloody mad this world. The Poliwrath chanced a look at the irritated Professor and was met back with a deadened gaze. He held it for a moment before turning away and tracing the swirl on his stomach in a nervous pattern.

"I don't have time to do so, with that little Eevee taking up almost all my office hours _and_ the remedial lessons I am hosting for the other adults in this country. I believe one of the courses here is a combat course?" Darkrai asked turning towards the other teachers. The Alakazam met his question with a few hems and haws while stroking one of its whiskers, most likely composing its answer.

"While I would not call Defense Against the Dark Arts a strictly _combat_ course, as it mainly entails self-defense and the identification of dangerous creatures, I have no doubt that Professor Lupin would happily take a few of the maladjusted students under his wing." The Pokemon offered, pointing towards the Lycanroc who was asking a house elf (and weren't those things just unsettling) for a more rare piece of meat to replace the steak that was lost. Of course, he was knocked out of his conversation by the mention of his name.

"I'm sorry, what exactly were you volunteering me for, Professor Dumbledore?" The wolf asked, feeling as though he was about to be subject to something only his best friends would think of.

"Why, hosting a few remedial control courses for some of the Third Years of course! Mr. Longbottom here and a few of his year mates would be delighted to hear you've accepted!" The Alakazam exclaimed joyously, loud enough for the settled Great Hall to hear, at the very least. The Lycanroc sputtered as he tried to respond, but was quickly cut off by the Delcatty.

"Why, that's rather kind of you, Remus! I'm sure that my Lions will _love_ to have a place where they can be supervised so they can use their powers _freely_. I'm sure that the other house heads would agree with me wholeheartedly!" Darkrai chuckled as he watched the Lycanroc's gaze rapidly shift between the two other professors, looking for any suspicious intent. The wolf Pokemon apparently found what it was looking for, as its eyes widened.

"You both aren't still mad about that one-day dose of Amortentia we slipped you, are you?" He asked with a meager voice. The two Pokemon ganging up on him glanced at each other.

"Of course not! Why, I found your pranks humorous and gratifying. Although it was a shame that a few of them happened to violate the trust that I had gathered with the students and insinuate that I was 'a dirty old man', they were wondrous uses of your magic. Perish the thought!" The Alakazam responded with a false cheer that Darkrai was fairly sure would have been poisonous in any other sense. The Delcatty nodded in agreement.

"Indeed. As far as I'm concerned, all the "Hot for Teacher" graffiti was washed away long before you graduated. Water under the bridge." Lycanroc looked at both of them, understanding that there was clearly no way out of this arrangement that didn't involve him being bodily tossed through a wall. He turned towards the Poliwrath who had been spectating much like Darkrai if far more reserved.

"We will meet in the third-floor classroom next to the weaponless armor," He said, before turning to the other professors, "and for the record, James and Sirius were the ones mainly involved with _that_ day. Especially Sirius. I feel that this is a case of the punishment not fitting the crime."

"Yes, well Potter's dead and Black's on the lam. I believe it is entirely fitting." Snape drawled from the other end of the table, his mouth-holes curved into a particularly vicious smile. Darkrai almost doubled over laughing.

* * *

Guffawing laughter rang from the third floor classroom next to the weaponless armor. It eventually tapered off into a few wheezes before starting up once more, only with less vigor. As soon as Sirius Black (Now known as Reginald Padfoot, long lost bastard of Orion Black and heir to the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black) was able to speak, he took one more look at Remus then started laughing once more. The aggrieved Lycanroc sighed at its Mightyena companion, before using **Accelerock** to knock the hyena off its chair.

"Ah, for fuck's sake Remus, it's not exactly like I've got real arse cheeks anymore! That bloody hurt." The Mightyena complained, rolling onto its side so that the bruised haunches wouldn't sting. Remus scoffed at the man now hyena. He always knew Sirius was an opportunist, but for the man to use "The Change" to create his own new identity? Remus wasn't even sure how he had done it, let alone _why._

Oh, Remus had _known_ that Lily and James switched Secret Keepers. Sirius couldn't shut up about it when the two of them were alone. He had merely assumed that Padfoot had killed thirteen Muggles and Peter in his rage, and condemned his friend. It wasn't as though Remus was any _more_ calm about the betrayal, but he wasn't daft. And for all that Sirius was his friend, he knew Sirius often loved more than he thought, so it wasn't difficult to assume he _had_ become a mass murderer in his rage.

"Well, now that you're sane once more, would you please explain this ridiculous plan of yours?" The Lycanroc asked, still unsure how to deal with this unexpected rekindling of their friendship. After Sirius had explained that Peter was the true culprit, both men were left in this purgatory of joking and awkwardness. It was as if only one of them truly grew up.

"Look, it's not that bad. I'm just gonna pretend to be my own half-brother. Then, I'm gonna call for a dismissal of my own incarceration ' _posthumously_ ' for the name of Black because there was no fair trial. They'll play kiss-ass for a bit, and at that very moment, I'll reveal to them, that in fact, _I was Sirius Black all along!_ It's foolproof!" The hyena exclaimed, padding around the room as he explained his master plan. Lycanroc sat there unimpressed.

"Yes, it is foolproof. But you're an idiot. How will you even establish yourself as your own half-brother? I assume you're still keyed into the wards at your old home, so you could falsify records, but…" The dusky wolf trailed off. Though when Sirius turned around to face Remus, he had that same mad glint in his eye that ended up getting Remus punished for the Amortentia incident.

"That's where it's _genius!_ I checked with the goblins right before I came here to meet you. All I had to do was present records on the Head of Black's stationary, and some blood, and they _gave it to me_. Thanks to whatever changed us, half the identification systems we used don't work! That means you are now _legally_ looking at _Reginald Black_ , Head of the most Ancient and Noble House of Black." Sirius said while laughing at his own dastardliness. Remus blinked owlishly. If Sirius had already had everything he needed then…

"Why the bloody hell are you here and not filing the paperwork for your own dismissal?!" Remus exclaimed, unable to believe his friend's procrastination. It was just like sixth year all over again! The hyena calmed down once more, before grinning at Remus.

"Well, as I see it, you owe me. Twelve years in that hell and not even a _word_. You explained why, and I forgave you, but I still need you to do a favor." Whatever he was planning for Remus was clearly of some discontent. As if he needed more on his plate, but it was the least he could do for abandoning him.

"I need you to get me a dead body." Remus blinked. Giving his friend the benefit of the doubt, he asked the question that was likely going to plague him with headaches for the next week.

"Why exactly?" Asked the wolf, already expecting an absurd answer.

"Alright so, I found out that the bodies from _before_ the change are still human. So, maybe, just maybe, the amazingly handsome Sirius Black ran into a bit of trouble before 'The Change'. And maybe, his body washes up on the coast. And _maybe his best friend will be there to identify him?_ " The Mightyena asked eyeing the wolf snarkily. Remus blanched, Sirius had foresight that was frightening sometimes.

"So all you need is for me to identify you to declare you dead?" Remus asked, sincerely hoping that was all. Though, if he had to be honest, a wolfish grin on a hyena was perhaps the scariest thing he had ever seen.

"Didn't you hear me? We need to _get_ the body first." Remus paled. That was beyond the line _by far_.

"Bloody hell, Sirius! I am not going to go rob a moratorium!" The Lycanroc shouted loud enough to wake the dead. The Mightyena shushed him before explaining.

"No see, look, I've already got the dead body arranged. I just need you to help me move it and frame it! And no, I did not kill someone, before you ask. Just read this." He said as he pulled out a rolled document tied with a ribbon from his travel bag. He pawed at the knot for a moment before allowing the document to unfurl across Remus's desk. Remus looked down at the document.

"I Sirius Black of sound mind, body, and magic… etcetera, etcetera and I James Fleamont Potter of sound mind, body, and magic… etcetera, etcetera, do hereby allow the other parties as denoted by this agreement to use my body _once_ in a scheme to fake his own death." The blue eyes of the wolf traveled down through the rest of the document at record speed after reading that line. Bloody hell, his friends were madmen! For Merlin's sake, there was even a clause that should _both_ of them be dead, then he himself would be allowed to use their bodies for one fake death _each_. His eyes drifted back to the smiling hyena.

"I can't condone this." He said, drawing a line in the sand. It was one thing to acquiesce to Sirius's insane plan, but this was another matter entirely.

"Too late, you owe me," Remus growled in response, eliciting one from Sirius as well.

"I _am not_ helping you rob James' grave, Sirius! Do you have any respect for the dead?" He shouted at the mad dog. Perhaps, twelve years of dementor induced fear had broken his friend, and this was the result.

"Yes, you are!" The other caning shouted at Remus.

"No, I am not! He was _our friend_. How could you do this in good conscience?" At this rate, it would devolve into a full-blown battle, Remus thought as he pulled together some energy for a **Rock Polish**. He would need to be in top shape to fight the Mightyena.

"Yeah, the _friend that didn't let me rot in prison on trumped charges!_ " A flame was beginning to leak from Sirius's mouth, a clear indication of **Flamethrower**. He always did have a penchant for fire spells.

" _Because he was_ _DEAD_ ," Remus raised his voice, rage overcoming his reason, " _HE WAS DEAD AND THEN YOU GOT YOURSELF LOCKED AWAY! AND NOW WHAT?! SIRIUS GOT IN TROUBLE AND BOTH OF US HAVE TO BAIL YOU OUT AGAIN?!_ " Things were about to take a turn for the bloody, before the door to the classroom collapsed into the room, hinges breaking instantly. As the door fell, in tumbled a ragtag assortment of young Pokemon. The pile slowly shook itself, before a small blue dragon with a grey crest pulled itself from underneath all the groaning limbs. It looked at both the older males before frowning.

"Why are you guys talking about robbing my dad's grave?" The question broke the tension, and both of the older Pokemon glanced at each other trying to get the other to go first.

"Er…" Remus eloquently said, unsure as to handle the situation. Thankfully, it appeared that Sirius had recovered first.

"It was Remus's idea! I'm just Reginald, not in any way or form related to escapee Sirius Black! Thank god you children showed up! This man was trying to talk me into desecrating the grave of my- _I mean his_ best friend." Sirius said, acting as though he were not the mastermind behind this convoluted mess. Remus sat there stunned for a moment unable to believe that this man had somehow pinned the whole Amortentia fiasco on him.

"Merlin's sake, Sirius-"

"Reginald."

"-who is going to believe that?" The wolf asked incredulously. The hyena shrugged.

"It was worth a shot."

* * *

As Darkrai breached the threshold of the castle doors, he found himself letting out a sigh of relief. Fortunately, the adults had been less rowdy (although there was still outrage and petulance) over the course of their lessons and had taken to them fairly quickly. With the exception of a few family rivalries that boiled over into blood sport, Darkrai felt it went quite well. Now, all he needed to do was relax with a nice cup of herb water (Tea was such a dumb name) and a good meal. Humans, anomaly or otherwise, always had the most refined foodstuffs across all dimensions.

"Professor! Professor Darkrai! Professor!" Arceus damn them all to the Reverse World! Now what? He let his anger go as he turned to face the greatest bane of his existence since he first met Cresselia.

"Eevee, haven't you ever heard the phrase 'If you bother the Darkrai too much, you'll get nightmares for life'?" He asked while scowling. Which in truth, was more or less his single eye becoming laserlike in focus. The little bundle of nervous energy eeped.

"No! Why professor? Is it part of Pokemon culture? Oh, wait, but that would mean-" He clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Because that is what you will tell your descendants if you do not get to the point. _**Immediately.**_ " He growled. Seeing her eyes widen, and his threa- message. Yes, message. Much more teacher-like. Seeing her eyes widen and his message fully received, the Eevee paused for a moment to gather her thoughts.

"Professor Lupin is conspiring with Sirius Black to rob the grave of Harry's dad! They're on the third floor!" She exclaimed. Conspiracy? Darkrai huffed, he wasn't a law enforcer in this dimension (By technicality only. Generally it would be the duties of the dimension's own legendaries). He let her go. Maybe, if he killed this 'Soren' and this 'Lincoln' professor fast enough, he could still enjoy a nice dough-treat (Donuts were also a stupid name) before the kitchens fully closed for the night. He looked around the entrance hall, and thankfully, there were no other presences nearby. No need to give anyone a reason to look for bodies.

Gripping the annoying brown fluffball by her scruff, and ignoring her yelps of indignation, he powered himself up and let it all off in a burst of speed. It would be only a few seconds before he reached the room, but he was pretty sure phasing through the ceiling at high speed would kill the Eevee. And though he would very much enjoy it, he still had a fair amount of years stuck here teaching. Killing a student would be in bad taste. He'd kill her _after_ she graduated. For all the headaches of course.

* * *

"Okay, so look kiddos, it's not what it sounds like." Sirius said, trying to convince the assorted third years that he wasn't a mass murdering grave defiler. He looked to the Lycanroc next to him who merely rolled his eyes, signifying that Sirius was on his own.

"So you're _not_ gonna rob Harry's dad's grave?" Asked the Zangoose, once he finally got himself untangled from his brother's tails and hair. Sirius scoffed. Of _course_ , he was gonna rob James' grave. He just wouldn't say it.

"Technically, he gave me a legal contract to use his corpse in one nonsensical way after his death." The Mightyena justified. See? He was perfectly sane. There was no grave robbing here, just perfect execution of a magically binding contract between peers. Then his mind caught up with him. He whirled on the small blue dragon.

" _You're Harry?!_ " The lizard just nodded, while backing away slowly. While the hyena's Intimidate had worn off long ago, that didn't make staring down an insane prison convict any less frightening. Remus pushed the Mightyena away, to give the child some breathing room. Although, the yellow eyes never left the body of the blue dragon. Lupin decided to take the reigns before the situation derailed even further.

"How did you children even break that door? That thing should have been able to take a Hippogriff ramming it at full speed thanks to the enchantments." The Professor asked as all eyes shot towards the blue smooth-skinned creature with a swirl on its stomach. One of the monkey boys decided to answer.

"Well, you see professor, we were all just minding our own business, when Neville here," he pushed the blue-skinned creature to the front, "sneezed and shot us all into the door with enough force to blow it to pieces." Remus' eye twitched for a moment as he stared the smiling green monkey down. This kid was as bad a liar as Sirius! He was about to open his mouth to reply before a black blur shot past the open doorway. A voice echoed down the hall.

"No, professor! It was in that room! They're conspiring in _that room!_ " Oh dear, the wolf thought to himself.

"What are you talking about? Is that not the room Professor Lycanroc is hosting his remedial courses? I thought we were looking for this 'Lipton' fellow." The imperious voice asked, his momentum clearly stalling.

"We've worked together for three weeks. Eaten at the same table for three weeks. How does he still not know my name?" The wolf muttered to himself. It wasn't a serious question, but it was quite baffling. He paw smacked Sirius, as the hyena had broken into giggles upon hearing his butchered name. Remus watched with anticipation as the black blur came back through the hall, and stopped instantaneously at the door way. It strode past the threshold, Eevee still in hand before pausing when its eye settled on Mightyena.

"Oh, there's a dark type in here. Nevermind then. Carry on with the conspiring." Darkrai said nonchalantly as it placed Hermione floor. However, the small fox was not going to take the casual dismissal so easily.

"Professor! How could you?! They're conspiring to rob a _grave_. Defile and abuse a corpse! Are you just going to stand there and let them?!" The Eevee shouted incredulously. Darkrai waved her off.

"Seems like someone was not paying attention to last Thursday's lecture." He said, while Hermione sputtered at the implication. She was a stellar student! The legendary patted her on the head, like one would a child that needed a booster seat at twelve years old.

"Dark types are prone to heinous crimes. He's simply fulfilling his nature." The legendary explained slowly.

"Prone? I thought you meant they just had _dark thoughts!_ " Hermione asked, clearly not able to reconcile the fact that a whole _type_ gave Pokemon carte blanche to be criminals. Darkrai shook his head.

"No, I meant they often commit heinous and malicious crimes. In fact, I ate my first still-beating heart when I was ten years old." Darkrai sighed, remembering the taste of that lovely Farfetch'd heart. However, as he was lost in his remembrance, all the other Pokemon in the room took a large step away from the reminiscing legendary. Darkrai shook away the memories.

"Anyways, I would be more surprised and offended if you said he _had not_ committed acts of violence and... " Darkrai explained before his train of thought derailed. Wait a moment, this world was a fever dream cooked up by Hoopas. His eye drifted over to the Mightyena. Maybe the dark types here needed to be _properly educated_.

"You _have_ committed crimes of sinister nature before right?" The legendary asked the now confused pooch. The Mightyena shared a glance with its compatriot in conspiracy. The Lycanroc nodded and made a waving motion near his throat. Getting the message, Sirius improvised.

"Er, yep! Sent to prison for the mass murder of thirteen people simultaneously! No parole, no trial!" The Mightyena barked out. The Darkrai let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding. At least that much was the same. Though, thirteen murders and no trial? Truly this Mightyena was a 'Mon after his own deadly heart. He eyed him carefully.

"You know, I am looking for an assistant." He ventured forth. Anything to ease the workload of dealing with these brats would be a gift from Arceus Himself. The hyena shivered.

"Nope sorry, too busy with the...uh… the grave robbing! Too busy with the grave robbing, you see. Got a lot to plan, aurors to evade and all that." Darkrai nodded. That _was_ a rather lucrative and respectable position for a dark type. Well, unfortunate.

"Very well. But if it doesn't pan out, please let me know. I could always use some more ferocious help. Anyways, off to bed children. No need to bother the Mightyena's work." The children sputtered and refused of course, not able to understand the beauty of a dark type at work.

"Now, now, I understand that none of you are dark type, so you will never feel the rush of a perfectly executed crime. But that is no excuse to be type-exclusionary." The legendary lectured, ignoring the indignant gasp of "Did he just call me racist?" from the young fox. He pushed them along slightly faster.

"Furthermore, if any of you report this to any other authorities, **I will feed you your own spleen and then curse you with nightmares as you fade into the afterlife**. It is only proper etiquette to let the dark type _enact_ the crime before attempting to crucify them. And I do not teach rude children. _Am I understood?_ " At that very threatening tone, combined with the sense of dread that permeated the space around the dark type legendary, all the younger Pokemon nodded. In fact, the Poliwrath fainted standing upright. Darkrai simply picked him up as he was left behind by all the terrified children. He turned around, picked up the door as well.

"Anyways, no need to thank me, I _am_ the patron legendary of dark types. Just make sure to get in a few good stabbings if you see any guards. Or food. I accept offerings of foodstuffs as well now." And with that, Darkrai slammed the broken door closed behind him, wedging it in the doorway. Sirius turned to Remus.

"I think that we _have_ to rob the grave at this point." The wolf merely nodded, the sense of defeat seeping into his bones.

* * *

Hermione rocked back and forth in shock, her world falling apart around her. Harry simply stroked her tail as she curled into a ball. Well, he supposed that it was ironic that the only one who had taken Professor Darkrai seriously when he said dark types were villainous. Snape was a dark type too. Though he surmised that perhaps Hermione did not have her priorities straight.

"Have to tell teacher. Can't tell teacher. Teacher told me not to tell teacher. But must tell teacher." And so on and so forth. Maybe it was a phase and she'd grow out of it, Harry hoped. Though considering that she had just started laugh-crying, it would be a bit much to hope for any major change.

"Baby steps, Hermione. Baby steps." He said. Her fur was very soft thankfully, and felt great against his stub. So it wasn't all bad. Ron, the only one of their group who had felt the primal nature of a Pokemon before, had been equally as accepting as Harry had for the most part and had gone to bed early. The whole "eating the still-beating heart at ten years old" bit was probably still quite traumatic, but Harry was a dragon. Nothing really phased him anymore. Except flying. That phased him a lot. He glanced around a room at all the other nervous faces.

"So-" He opened before Neville finally blew up from his frozen state.

"NO! We are not telling this to _anyone!_ I _like_ my spleen, Harry! Please don't make me tell anyone!" The poor Poliwrath shouted, fists putting dents into the common room floor. He really should learn how to control that better, thought Harry. And to think, this all started because Neville asked them for support after he started a food fight by using a knife too hard.

"There, there, Neville. Don't worry, I doubt Harry's going to let us. I'm sure he likes his spleen too." Ginny said, soothing Neville much the same way Harry was doing so for Hermione.

"I could take it or leave it." Harry joked back. Though, perhaps that was the wrong thing to say, as many of the other young Gryffindors sent back paled considerably.

"Harry, mate, we're behind you and all that, since, you know, it's your dad's grave. It's only right. But, uh, I'm not exactly prepared to fight an actual _demon_ over it." Seamus said, clearly anxious. Harry nodded, while he wished he knew more about his parents, and why Professor Lupin was planning on robbing his father's grave, it wasn't worth dying over. Though, he still felt that Professor Darkrai was the Satan to Arceus's God if anything.

* * *

"Now, for today's lecture, we shall be going over moves and in turn, statuses, and items. Mainly, because each preceding element is the reason for the next. Moves create statuses, which led to the first items being used for treatment. Now, moves are divided into three categories: Special, Physical, and Undefined…" Professor Darkrai explained. However, for once in her life, Hermione wasn't listening with rapt attention. That wasn't to say she wasn't taking notes, nor was she foregoing learning more of being a Pokemon. It was just, the implication of being a dark type finally hit home for her last night. For the past two or so days, she had been trying to understand how exactly a whole category of Pokemon would _want_ to commit crimes.

It scared her. It scared her even more when she found out that one of the evolutions of Eevee _was_ a dark type. She didn't want to k-k-kill anyone! She wanted to learn, and grow up, normal like every other-

"Uh, Hermione?"

-person. She also wanted to understand them. To know more about their problems and issues. Maybe if she did, she could help dark types like Professor Darkrai turn away from-

"Hermione?!"

-a life of crime! After all, she had read that Sociopaths could lead fulfilling lives when properly monitored with a proper support network (though, support network wouldn't be the exact term, more like blackmail network).

"HERMIONE!"

"What Ron?! What could be so important, that you're shouting in my ear?!" The girl shrieked back, leveling a withering glare at the mongoose.

"You're glowing," Harry answered. Hermione looked down at her paws, and sure enough, she was covered in bright light. And just as fast as she had noticed it, it was gone. Instead, in its place, were a pair of velvety limbs. They weren't exactly pink, more a light purple color. And… was that a second tail? She craned her head (because she was now taller than she remembered) and caught a glimpse of the dual ended tail that had replaced her fox puff. In fact, she seemed much more feline-

"Just when I thought you couldn't get _more_ irritating, you manage to evolve into a _psychic_ type in the middle of my lecture." Her attention shot towards the Professor who was glaring at her balefully.

"Uh…"

"Oh good, looks like evolving made you quiet. Thank Arceus for small miracles." He said before resuming.

"Then, along with these attributes, there can be an elemental aspect, which is attributed to type…"

Hermione looked down at her new form once more. Perhaps this was a sign? That she was on the right path, so she was gifted with a form that could help. Psychic types were generally empaths and highly intelligent.

Unfortunately, in her excitement, Hermione had forgotten that dark types were immune to psychic abilities and that they generally hated psychic types with a passion. If anything, Arceus was trying to give her a sign to stay as far away from 'helping' Darkrai as possible. He already had one brainy psychic type trying anyways.


End file.
